I must be emo: article

Last week, I found my hard drive from when I was fifteen, circa 2008. It was every bit as bad as expected; My Chemical Romance, Green Day, Panic! At the Disco; you name it, the terrible emo past was there. My shameful, black-clad, dramatic emo past was not something unusual, however. In fact, I’d wager that there are thousands of twenty-somethings around Ireland right now who still know every word to “Welcome to the Black Parade”.

Looking back, my obsessions with pop-punk bands and stripy things weren’t all that original. I may have paraded sayings like “labels are for soup cans!” and “I’m not weird, I’m different!” but the reality was that my pink highlights emulated a dozen other girls I’d been stalking on Bebo. But that’s not something to criticise; at the ripe old age of twenty-one, I’ve decided to embrace my emo past. See, it’s easy to fob off teenage fads. Even now, my boyfriend tells me how utterly ridiculous I looked at fifteen, derisively snorting at my repeated denials that I never hung out at Central Bank. But teenage subcultures exist for a reason. From the post-war swinger set, through hippies, punks, mods and grungers, there’s always been a group to be a part of. Emo was ours; many a friend of mine has a Fall Out Boy poster buried under their bed. But we’re all mad to deny the same fact – “no, I was never EMO, I was cooler than that”. Objectively, “emo” was a fad characterised by a belief that you were different from the norm, more your own person than everyone else. And while that may have been characterised by questionable spelling and bad music, what of it? The “random” sixteen year old who embraces difference often grows up to be unique, tolerant and confident. I see nothing wrong with that.

Another element of the emo subculture we frequently forget about is how it pushed mental health among teenagers into the limelight. There were half a dozen Daily Mail articles published heralding emo as harmful to teenagers. Yes, self-harm was an utterly terrifying element of emo culture, which I will never understand. But to my recollections, it was also a time when we spoke about our feelings – “emo” is short for “emotional”, after all. Feelings may have been overblown and melancholy, but still; we spoke about them. I remember feeling confident and happy as an “emo kid”, but I still was able to speak out about feeling down, because that was…well, expected of me. I’m not saying being an emo kid was the key to my mental health – but it gave me the ability to speak out and speak up, because to an over-dramatic, black-clad teenager, no problem seemed too small. Maybe I’m a healthy by-product of the emo lifestyle, but to me, it seemed integral to helping me deal with adolescent issues.

So the next time you cringe at a photo of your fifteen year old self, think twice. It’s so easy to criticise the person you once were, without recognising the benefits of a certain way of living. So while I have no intentions of getting a fringe cut in, I will listen to My Chemical Romance with gay abandon, because to be honest, I wouldn’t be who I am without them.